On Father's Day...
To Papaw: You were the only man in my life to hold my entire history, from before my birth- when you semi-jokingly told my mother to name me Rastus, to near the end of my 15th year when you had to leave us. It is because of you, and the son you helped to raise- My uncle Troy- that I know what a loving stable man looks like, qualities I looked for in my husband and the father of my own children. I miss you in a million tiny ways every day, but Father's Day is the hardest. I love you
To Daddy: Life left you shattered; and as a result you shattered part of me. AND (Thank the Universe for ands) You were the first person who ever helped me see up close and personal what unconditional love looked like. I cursed and berated you for the pain you had caused me, and often went out of my way to cause you pain when you returned to my life. And ALWAYS when the dust settled your answer was: "I'm sorry baby girl"" I'm broken- not you" "You deserve" better" "I hold nothing but love for you" "You are are NEEDED and REQUIRED in this world." "You DESERVE to be happy." When pursuing my dreams meant walking away from you, you ultimately supported me and called the man I had chosen and called him "son". When I explained I had to protect my children from the hurricane that was Addiction; there was never once a guilt trip. You bought presents and sent cards and always answered calls and texts. There were picture of my family and kids all over your apartment. I knew you were proud of me.
To my Love: You are the Father our children deserve and the kind I desperately wish I could have had. Thank you for treasuring and striving to provide for them, and me. Thanks most of all, for being so dang steadfast. I have tried to scare you off in every way I know how... and like a mountain, you remain. I don't think you will ever know what that means to a heart like mine. I decided when I was all of 12, that MY children would know what it was to be adored, and be able to rest in arms that would NEVER willingly abandon them. You- My lover, husband, friend are the answer to that promise. What I never dared hope I would get in the bargain is someone who adored me as well. I will love you for as long as I draw breath, and if there is life after this; for all of that one as well.
And Finally, to the Man who fathered the this man I love best: THANK YOU. Thank you for making hard choices and hoping against hope they were the right ones. Thank you for doing the work of 2 parents with the strength and resources of one. One of those boys you raised grew up to be the man of my dreams and the other two are the sweetest brothers and uncles a girl could ask for. My girls adore their Pop-Pop, and I am forever grateful. Disagreements, misunderstanding and all, you're stuck with me. I'll love you forever.
To Daddy: Life left you shattered; and as a result you shattered part of me. AND (Thank the Universe for ands) You were the first person who ever helped me see up close and personal what unconditional love looked like. I cursed and berated you for the pain you had caused me, and often went out of my way to cause you pain when you returned to my life. And ALWAYS when the dust settled your answer was: "I'm sorry baby girl"" I'm broken- not you" "You deserve" better" "I hold nothing but love for you" "You are are NEEDED and REQUIRED in this world." "You DESERVE to be happy." When pursuing my dreams meant walking away from you, you ultimately supported me and called the man I had chosen and called him "son". When I explained I had to protect my children from the hurricane that was Addiction; there was never once a guilt trip. You bought presents and sent cards and always answered calls and texts. There were picture of my family and kids all over your apartment. I knew you were proud of me.
To my Love: You are the Father our children deserve and the kind I desperately wish I could have had. Thank you for treasuring and striving to provide for them, and me. Thanks most of all, for being so dang steadfast. I have tried to scare you off in every way I know how... and like a mountain, you remain. I don't think you will ever know what that means to a heart like mine. I decided when I was all of 12, that MY children would know what it was to be adored, and be able to rest in arms that would NEVER willingly abandon them. You- My lover, husband, friend are the answer to that promise. What I never dared hope I would get in the bargain is someone who adored me as well. I will love you for as long as I draw breath, and if there is life after this; for all of that one as well.
And Finally, to the Man who fathered the this man I love best: THANK YOU. Thank you for making hard choices and hoping against hope they were the right ones. Thank you for doing the work of 2 parents with the strength and resources of one. One of those boys you raised grew up to be the man of my dreams and the other two are the sweetest brothers and uncles a girl could ask for. My girls adore their Pop-Pop, and I am forever grateful. Disagreements, misunderstanding and all, you're stuck with me. I'll love you forever.
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